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How do you Open your Heart to Healing?

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How do you Open your Heart to Healing? What does this even mean?

In Eastern Medicine the body has always been treated along with the mind. One can’t be separated from the other. Western medicine is slowly catching on, but little emphasis is still being placed on our emotions and how they impact our health.

Having an open heart means recognising the things in life that are holding us back and learning to be open to change. We have all experienced sadness, loss, trauma or some other stress that has impacted our lives. It may be temporary or it may have a lasting effect.

We can choose to ignore it and move on, but unless we recognise it’s impact and that it may still be influencing our emotions and actions, our health will suffer.

Any sudden death, loss or trauma deeply effects our well being. We may hold on to this stress and bury it deep down, because at the time, it is too painful to deal with. There is nothing wrong with that. It keeps us safe or helps us cope at a time when our lives are turned upside down. However one day we must deal with it.

Research has shown that an inability to express and process our feelings effectively, or repressing our anger or grief and putting everyone else’s needs before our own, depresses the immune system. These patterns have been found in people who go on to develop chronic illness.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine the Heart is the Fire Element. It governs our blood and blood vessels but more importantly, it is where our spirit and mind reside. It has been said that when the Heart is healthy, all organs can do their job properly, but when it is not well, the functioning of the whole body is impaired.

So how do we Open our Heart to healing? We can start by recognising the emotions we are holding deep within and start speaking about them. Journalling is a great way to commence, as writing down your thoughts often helps you release the emotions attached to them. Speak to someone you trust and share how you are feeling, even if it is years after the event. Seeing a counsellor is also a great idea if you are holding onto trauma or find it difficult to talk about your feelings.

Putting yourself first and having strong boundaries around your time and availability is vital. It is the first step in loving and respecting yourself. Start letting go of guilt and resentment. You have a right to be here. You don’t need to explain your actions. Doing things that you love from a place of joy, rather than doing things out of a sense of obligation, releases stress and negativity.

Having an open heart means being free to be authentically You. It means expressing your views without fear of criticism. It means taking actions that benefit you and your health without fear of judgment.

It isn’t always easy because it opens us up to vulnerability, but the more we show our true selves, the more we live an extraordinary life. Not everyone will like the new you, but that’s okay. We’re not here to please everyone. I believe we are here to live an amazing life in the best way that we can.

To open up your heart is to show the world who you are, unapologetically. To share your gifts, your views, your feelings and emotions. And that’s the first step to Healing.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

References: When the Body Says No by Dr Gabor Mate. The Way of the Five Seasons by John Kirkwood. Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

Who is responsible for your Healing?

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Healing. Taking back your power.

Who is responsible for your Healing? Is it you or your practitioner?

I recently pondered this after completing a personal development course. We looked at our ego and belief systems and how they affect our behaviours and how we tend to stay in the same dysfunctional patterns. I believe that this also applies to our health.

If we are unwell, we may seek advice or a diagnosis from a doctor. In turn, they may give us some medication to help us get better or refer us for further tests. He/she may then follow up with us, to check on how we are progressing. The doctor has done his/her part in your healing and you can do yours by taking the advice given.

But does it go further than this? I believe it does. Doctors take an oath to treat those who are ill. They are responsible for those who seek their care. However the buck doesn’t stop there. You are responsible too, if not to a higher degree.

Healing is never straightforward. It involves the physical body, but it also involves the emotional, and the latter, often to a higher degree. In Reflexology I address the health issues that present, but also look at the emotional factors. How is that person feeling today? How are they feeling about their illness? Are they looking after themselves and how are they treating themselves? What language are they using? There are many layers involved in our healing.

How we react to our illness may also affect its’ outcome. If we remain anxious and stressed we remain in a constant ‘fight or flight’ mode. Our cortisone and adrenaline levels are always elevated and our immune system is suppressed. The incidence of heart disease is increased and chronic stress has also been linked to cancer.

If we remain in a ‘victim mode’ we are feeding into this negativity. I totally understand this, as it’s never easy if you have a chronic health condition. It is draining and exhausting and if it’s life threatening, it can be terrifying. But if we remain a victim, we stay powerless.

It’s important to look at how we are reacting and become aware of our behaviours. This doesn’t mean that we criticise ourselves, but instead look at our actions proactively. So many of our behavioural patterns are learned in childhood. If we are always yelled at as children, we take on certain behaviours to stay and feel safe. We may not express our feelings or our needs. If there are high expectations made of us, we feel that as adults we need to be perfect.

Dr Gabor Mate says that when we don’t express our own needs and feelings effectively, our physiology is also affected. Chronic emotional stress affects our immune system.  When our needs aren’t met in childhood, we play out our behaviours as adults. We compensate for the things we missed out on, or the behaviours that affected our upbringing. We forget to look after ourselves and end up meeting everyone else’s needs first. He says, “When we have been prevented from learning how to say no, our bodies may end up saying it for us.”

So what can we do to change this?

Put yourself first! This may sound rather obvious, but to a habitual people pleaser like myself, it took many health issues for this to sink in. Whatever your diagnosis, choose yourself and choose healing. Take responsibility for yourself. Express how you feel, even if it’s just to family and ask for help if needed. Become aware of your reactions. We tend to repeat our behaviours, no matter the circumstances. We all have our own dysfunctional patterns.

Then take measures to reduce stress in your life. Yes illness is scary and yes, it is exhausting. But you can choose to stay it’s victim or you can choose to take back the power. Do more fun things for yourself, laugh(a lot) to boost those feel good hormones, which reduce the inflammatory response and move your body, even if all you feel up to is a walk around your garden.

Eat healthily, meditate, sing, dance, swim, spend time in nature, or do whatever reduces your stress levels. Find someone to talk to about how you really feel and look at the behaviours that no longer serve you. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. It isn’t easy as this opens us up to fear, criticism or self-judgement, but it’s an important part of our healing.

Practise reframing your words. If they are always negative, this will reflect on how you are feeling. Biologist Bruce Lipton showed that changing how we look at things changes the chemistry in our body.

Healing is a multi-faceted thing. It’s important to remember that our body is always working to support us. Who then, is responsible for your Healing? I believe we need to collaborate with health professionals when needed, but ultimately the responsibility lies within ourselves.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

References: “When the Body says No – The cost of Hidden Stress” by Dr Gabor Mate, “The Biology of Belief” by Bruce Lipton, PhD. Photo by William Farlow on Unsplash 

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.