What is your most important relationship?

What is your most important relationship? Is it the one you have with your partner or perhaps the relationship you have with your children or family?

I believe that the most important relationship we can have in our life, is the one we have with ourselves. Yes we may have an amazing marriage and the bond between a mother and child is very unique and precious, but the relationship we have with ourselves determines how we react to and treat all other relationships in our lives.

Many of us were brought up to be people pleasers. If we always said Yes to everyone, put everyone else’s needs before our own, we were given love and praise. It was considered selfish to put ourselves first. Taking on this role throughout our childhoods, meant we stayed happy and safe. So long as we kept up these roles, love and praise were guaranteed. We often grew up basing our self worth on our achievements and the consequent praise we received.

As an adult, it’s so easy to continue these patterns. We put our careers, our families and partners ahead of our own needs and usually only stop to re-evaluate this when we become ill or exhausted. Few of us stop to look at the relationship we have with ourselves.

So what do I mean by this? The relationship we have with ourselves is how we look at ourselves and how we treat ourselves. Can you honestly and openly say you love yourself? Do you really respect yourself and care for your own needs on a daily basis?

How do you then care for yourself? It’s the little things that add up to a great relationship with yourself, just as they do with the relationship you have with your partner and children. Do you respect yourself and how you speak to yourself? How do you allow others to speak to you? Are you always criticising yourself e.g. I’m too fat or too thin or I look tired or ugly etc? What foods are you putting into your body? Are you drinking enough water, exercising enough, having time out just for you?

These are all signs of self care and self respect. They are a vital part of establishing a healthy relationship with yourself. The more you care about yourself, the more you are able to be there to care for others. As you show respect for yourself and establish strong boundaries around how you want to be treated, the more others will do the same. Your children will learn what is acceptable behaviour and how they would like to be treated themselves. This also impacts your relationship with your partner and friends.

So have a look at your own life first. Tell yourself, ‘I love you’ on a regular basis. Treat your body with kindness in your thoughts and deeds. Take time out when you need it. Rest, drink lots of water, eat well and move your body. Have regular treatments such as Reflexology that nurture and heal your body.

Prioritise your own needs first!

Remember that when your cup is full, you are much better placed to be there for others. You only have one life. Live it to the fullest and be there for yourself.

After all, you deserve the very best.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

If you would like help in prioritising You and setting clear boundaries, you can book in here.

 

References:  Photo by Carol Oliver – Unsplash

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

How can you put Yourself first when you don’t have Time?

We are constantly being told to put ourselves first.

We hear it all the time. “How about You? You matter. Think of your own needs.”

We are learning more and more about the importance of listening to our bodies and prioritising our needs, but how can we do this in an increasingly busy world.

How can we put ourselves first when we just don’t have time?

Many of us have been brought up to put others first. As children we are taught to be kind and generous, to think of others. It’s considered selfish to make us number one. This is helpful to some degree but I believe that children should first be taught respect for themselves, then for others. Of course, it’s important to consider the needs of others but we need to remember our own needs too. As we get older, we often lose sight of ourselves and our own needs and never consider that our needs must take priority.

Women in particular, grow up as the nurturers. If we are nice and play by the rules we won’t be considered mean or nasty or the dreaded “B” word. If we have children we continue to play the game. Children are vulnerable, especially when young and it’s normal to be there to meet their needs. However if we never show our children that we have needs too, they grow up thinking that they don’t count either. They never learn to put themselves first. Not a great role model for their future selves.

So how can we start prioritising Us?

The most important thing, I believe is to have a great relationship with yourself. How much do you love yourself? How much do you respect your wants and dreams? If you laugh at the thought of loving yourself, practise what Louise Hay calls ‘Mirror work.’ Every time you look in the mirror say to yourself, ‘I love you.’ This may feel silly at first but the more you say it, the more you will feel the emotion.

Be aware of your language towards yourself and don’t criticise. Be grateful for your gifts and talents and don’t compare yourself to others. We are all unique and we all have our unique zone of genius. Be kind to yourself and do things that light you up. Spend time with those you love and less time with those who drain or deplete you.

This is all very well, you may say, but how do I find the time?

I think that if you really care about your health both on a physical and emotional level, you consciously make the time. You prioritise You into every day and every week. This doesn’t have to be difficult. I know that meditation really calms me down and sets me up for the day, so I get up 20 minutes earlier every morning. If I have a really hectic day ahead, I may only spend 10 minutes meditating but I know that it’s really beneficial for me so I do it.

I try and walk in nature every day because it is great for my physical and mental health. I don’t do it in the mornings but try and do it at lunchtime when I can. If I miss out one day, I don’t beat myself up over it. Things don’t have to be perfect.

I also have regular reflexology and massage because this supports and nourishes me. I plan these treatments and put them in my diary.

So how can you make time for what you love? I think the best way to start is by writing down what is important to you. Then think of the ways you can include these things into your life. Get up 1o minutes earlier if this is doable for you or make sure you take a lunch break each day so you get some time out, or have some quiet time in the evenings. Book in appointments for things you enjoy on a regular basis. Let others, including your family know that this is your time.  They make like to take note and do the same for themselves.

We all have the same 24 hours and we can easily fill every minute being busy. The demands of work and family can be all consuming but if we don’t prioritise time for ourselves, we end up burnt out and exhausted. I know, because I did.

I now include things that I love and are important for my well being into my week. I prioritise ‘Me’ time because this nourishes my body and soul and the more I am fulfilled, the more I am available to be there for others. Being depleted doesn’t serve anyone!

So start to remember just how important you are to the world. Put time aside just for You in whatever way that you enjoy.

Make this a regular part of your day just as eating your meals or brushing your teeth is. The more you do it, the more it will become a part of your life.

And isn’t that the best way to live!

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

 

If Reflexology is on your list of prioritising You, give me a ring or email with any questions. I would love to hear from you.

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

What’s your Secret weapon this Winter?

What’s your Secret Weapon this Winter?                                                        Mine is Facial Reflexology.

Yes winter has arrived in Melbourne and it’s already made it’s presence felt. Cold frosty mornings have heralded in June and our heating seems to be on permanently.

Along with the start of winter, comes the usual cold and flu’s. Why is this so and why are we more prone to viruses at this time of year? One explanation is that people spend more time outside in summer. Whereas in winter, we tend to hibernate in warm environments where bugs flourish and these germs tend to recirculate around heated rooms.

Scientists believe that our internal body temperature drops after exposure to cold air. Consequently our immune response is weaker than when our body temperature is raised. Hence we can be more susceptible to viruses.

Viruses are thought to be around all the time but it’s during winter when people gather together in warm  conditions that the virus spreads. These are all scientific theories and no-one is entirely sure but it’s important to have some strategies for the colder weather.

Do you have a Secret Weapon? Many people swear by their intake of Vitamin C and Zinc, perhaps an immune boosting herb or even Olive Leaf extract. A healthy diet and regular exercise will also help boost your immune response.

I often use these tools too, but my favourite and most effective is regular Facial Reflexology. Facial reflexology works to balance the whole body. It increases circulation and nerve supply to nourish and innervate all cells.

It incorporate lymphatic drainage to remove toxins and any bugs that may be lurking around. It stimulates the immune system to balance the body and uses a range of nerve points that decrease inflammation, act as natural antibiotics and work directly on the spleen, thymus gland and immune boosting cells.

If you do happen to get a virus, Facial reflexology will help to shorten the duration of the infection.

So get your Secret Weapon out this winter and put it to good use. I’m certainly using mine!

To get you started, I have included a Facial Reflexology chart with nerve points you can work, to boost your immune system. You can work these points up to three times a day. If pregnant, don’t do any points until you have consulted a professional reflexologist.

Of course, a full treatment is preferable so if this sounds appealing, give me a ring.

Enjoy!

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References: www.webmed.com/colds-and-flu, www.scientificamerica.com, Multireflexology Dien Chan by Patrick Aguilar Cassara and Anna Rosa Carrasco. Photo by Teddy Kelly on Unsplash.com

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.