How can this New Year be a different one?

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How can this New Year be a different one? Do you really want it to change?

Happy New Year to you all. I hope you have a wonderful, healthy and happy year ahead. As the calendar turns over and a new year begins, have you ever thought about how you can make this one different?

Many of us start with a resolution or a new word to embody the year ahead, but is this just a habit that we get into, one that carries no real purpose? Or is it a decision that we make consciously? I gave up making resolutions many years ago as by the time February came around, I had promptly forgotten what I was going to do.

Instead I have been choosing a word each year, to describe how I want the year to unfold, be it one of Freedom, Finding Balance or one of Creativity, to name a few. This year however, I have done neither. They both feel a bit forced to me.

Instead I am thinking about how I want the year to unfold, how I want it to be different from previous years. I want to retain the love of family and friends, the joy of adventure, the closeness to those I love, having laughter and great health. These I have wanted in previous years too. But this year I also want to live a life of my choosing, a life where every day is filled with joy and gratitude.

Now obviously I don’t live in Fairyland and ‘stuff’ happens. Stress, illness, arguments, sadness are all a part of life, as are joy, laughter and love. But what I really want is to make this year, a year of difference, where I consciously choose how I want to live each day. I love my Reflexology clients and my business is an important part of my week, but there is also so much more to my life.

Creativity and Freedom light up my soul and I plan to include more of them into every day. I’m not quite sure how this will play out, but I’m going to have fun exploring. I plan to do more painting, photography and writing. I am also going to do more meditations for Insight Timer (a free app that has thousands of meditations on it) and maybe a course or two.

I also plan to have days just to be in nature, or read a book, days of freedom without any agenda, days of no obligations.

How can this New Year be a different one? What are ‘You’ going to do? Now there is nothing wrong with continuing on as before, with more of the same. However if we never change the way we do things, if we never strive for something else or something new, we never grow.

So how is your year going to be different? Maybe like me, you will include more time for yourself? Maybe you will try some new creative venture? Maybe you will travel more or write or draw or learn a new language? Maybe you will take up yoga or meditation?

There is no right or wrong. Just do what lights you up and brings you joy and a sense of fulfillment. If you want to make a New Year’s resolution or choose a word then please do so. What is right for one person is not necessarily right for another.

But whatever you choose to do and however you want this new year to pan out, make sure it brings you happiness and a sense of purpose.

Wishing you all a wonderful twelve months ahead.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

PS PS. If you would like to start the New Year by living a life of your choosing, my book, ‘True Essence: Finding your authentic self without compromise” is still available. Signed copies can be ordered here or through Amazon here.

If you would like to listen to my meditation on Insight Timer, you can do so here https://insighttimer.com/judynewbery/guided-meditations/breathe-in-the-breath-of-life

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

References: Phot by Debra Manny Mosley on Unsplash

Can you find Peace this Christmas time?

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Can you find peace this Christmas time when all around you seems to be in turmoil? People are feeling stressed, financial worries are rampant and the world no longer seems to be such a safe place. How then can you find peace amongst all this chaos?

As we inch closer to Christmas, our busy lives seem to have moved up another notch. What was already a busy existence now seems to be one running on steroids. Deadlines are getting closer, work needs to be finished before the holidays, the roads are in gridlock and already busy stores are now full to capacity.

We seem to have so much on our ‘to do’ lists that it’s very easy to arrive on Christmas Day feeling burnt out and exhausted. But this doesn’t need to be the case. I believe that it is possible to put some ease into your life, to find some peace, even on the busiest of days.

Have a look at your life and make a decision on what is essential and what can really wait until January. Not everything needs to be completed now. Keep things simple. If you have presents to buy, look online or locally. Avoiding the busy shopping centres. So much can be bought in your local neighbourhood or online, so it’s delivered to your front door. Also don’t accept every single social engagement. Your family and friends won’t disappear on the first of January. You can still catch up in the New Year.

You don’t need to buy extravagant presents. Christmas has become very commercial however, its’ essence is not about gifts but about connection. Being with family and friends, the ones who mean the most to you, are all that really matters. Sharing food, laughter and love are what makes Christmas truly special.

Take time out each day to find some quiet moments. Even if it’s just sitting in the garden with a cup of tea or going for a short walk in nature, find some time to switch off and relax.

Can you find peace this Christmas time? Start by avoiding the news. Yes it’s important to be aware of what’s going on in the world, but we can check the headlines on our phones. We don’t need to be constantly reminded of war and fighting and hate, or see visual examples of this. Constant exposure only brings up fear, anxiety and worry. We don’t need that in our lives.

Don’t try and make everything perfect. As a perfectionist in the past, I used to make sure that I had the best ornaments and the biggest tree. The house needed to be decorated beautifully and the table set with matching everything. Now I don’t worry so much. I am grateful for the family that I have to celebrate Christmas with and I treasure these moments together. Yes it’s lovely to give and receive gifts, but don’t get too anxious about what to buy everyone. A small token of your love is enough.

Ultimately remember what Christmas is all about. To me, it’s about family. Sharing time with those we love, family or friends. It’s about finding peace in our lives, even with those we don’t necessarily agree with. It’s about taking time our from our busy lives, from judgment or criticism of others to finding common ground.

Though Christmas can be a lonely time for so many, it can also be a time of reflection, to think about the past year and what lessons can be learned from it.

Can you find peace this Christmas time? I truly hope so, for I believe that peace resides within all of us. We only need to look within our heart and find the love, compassion and kindness that exists there then send this out to all the world.

Wishing you all a peaceful and very Happy Christmas,

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxxx

Ps. If looking for a Christmas present, my book, “True Essence: Finding your authentic self without compromise,” is available. 

You can buy a signed copy here
Or on Amazon here.

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

References: Image by Amy from Pixabay

Did you know that you have a ‘wonder’ Hormone?

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Did you know that you have a ‘wonder’ hormone? It’s called Serotonin and I call it a wonder hormone because it has so many amazing and wonderful functions.

Serotonin is a chemical messenger that is produced by nerve cells in the brain and the intestines. It is a neurotransmitter that sends messages between cells. It is known as the happy hormone because it affects our mood and emotions.

As well as affecting our central nervous system, it influences our appetite and digestion. It also helps regulate our sleep-wake cycles, affects bone metabolism, cardiovascular and eye health, blood clotting, wound healing, memory, sexual desire and neurological disorders. Serotonin plays a vital role in most major organ systems, including the cardiovascular, pulmonary, gastrointestinal, and central nervous systems.

Ninety percent of serotonin is produced in our gut and recent research shows that it is connected to the production of the gut microbiome. A decrease in the gut microbiome has also been linked to the incidence of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Our gut microbiome consists of the millions of bacteria, fungi, parasites, and viruses, that in a healthy person, coexist peacefully. Our gut microbiome is involved in our overall health, in particular, our immune system.

As Serotonin regulates our mood, it’s often called our body’s natural “feel good” chemical. When serotonin is at normal levels, we feel more focused, emotionally stable, happier and calmer. So if Serotonin is indeed this wonder hormone, what can we do to increase it naturally?

Spending time outdoors with exposure to sunlight has shown to be beneficial for serotonin levels. Regular exercise also boosts production of Serotonin leading to a better mood and overall well being. A healthy balanced diet and regular sleep as well as meditation and Reflexology, have also been shown to help.

Did you know that you have a ‘wonder’ hormone? You certainly do. That’s why it’s so important to lead a healthy lifestyle. Diet, exercise, meditation and measures to reduce stress, such as Reflexology and massage, all affect our Serotonin level. So why not make some changes now and incorporate some healthy habits into your lifestyle. Your ‘wonder’ hormone will thank you for it.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

References: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5074899/; https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-05756-0#:~:text=Research%20shows%20that%20more%20than,can%20produce%20norepinephrine47%2C48. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232248#boosting-serotonin; https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22572-serotonin# Photo by Hudson Hintze on Unsplash. 

Do You Find it Difficult to Let Go?

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Do you find it difficult to let go? To let go of what no longer serves you? Letting go means to release something and it can come in many forms.

It may be releasing an object or personal item that we no longer need, or it may be an emotion that we have held on to for too long. It may also be releasing a person or the obligations that we have placed on them.

Letting go isn’t always easy. It’s rarely straightforward and can feel very painful. But sometimes letting go, is the only way we can move forward. It may be the only way that we can heal.

We may have someone hurt us in a relationship or friendship. We may feel anger and deep sorrow and find it hard to forgive. Letting go doesn’t mean that you forget what has happened to you, but rather that you recognise how you are feeling, give thanks for the joy that was once there and forgive so that you can move on. Forgiveness is not just accepting what has happened, but it means showing compassion towards yourself so that you can release any lingering anger or hurt.

We may find it hard to let go of behaviours that we know aren’t good for us, yet we persist in pursuing them. Are we the people pleaser, the one who is always there for everyone else and puts themselves last? Do we let others always take priority and say ‘Yes’ to everyone even though we are feeling tired or depleted? Establishing healthy boundaries isn’t always easy as we may fear the repercussions, but it’s the only way we can truly honour and love ourselves.

Do you find it difficult to let go or do you hold on for dear life? I know that I often do. My son may be moving overseas next year and I have found this very difficult to come to terms with. But I know that he has his own life to live and his own decisions to make. I may not agree with his choices but they are his choices, not mine, and I have to let go.

Letting go can bring up fear. If we let go, we may lose control. We open ourselves up to vulnerability and possibly criticism or judgement. Letting go opens us up to the unknown. But if we always hold on too tightly, we may never know what is possible. Maybe a new opportunity will come up or we release someone or something that needs to be released and needs to grow, without our involvement. Maybe we will allow ourselves to heal.

Ironically as I was writing this newsletter my website crashed. That’s why this newsletter is late. It was incredibly frustrating but I had to let go. I had to trust that the website host would sort it out for me. I had no control. Not a comfortable feeling, but one I am becoming more familiar with, and that’s okay.

When I see clients in my clinic for a Facial Reflexology treatment, I always look at the area of their body that is most out of balance. These areas also hold emotions and very often our emotions form the basis of a disease, condition or ailment. Holding on to anger, grief, fear or worry never benefits us in the long term.

There is no judgement here for we all hold emotions within ourselves for a variety of reason. Maybe we have been deeply hurt or we have suffered some trauma or grief. We bury that emotion deep within so that we feel safe and can carry on. But all emotions need to be dealt with, as over time they will arise again in some form or another. They may come up in an entirely different situation or illness, just to remind us that we still have issues to deal with. It’s okay to say that we aren’t coping or that we need help, and we should never be ashamed of asking for support.

Do you find it difficult to let go? I know that I certainly do. But as I lean in to the possibilities and the relief that letting go brings, I open myself up to growth and healing. Letting go allows all of us to do the same and empowers us to lead happier and healthier lives.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

References: Image by Darby Browning from Pixabay

How is your Winter Self-Care going?

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How is your winter self-care going? Does it even exist and why do you need it? Self-care is an ongoing behaviour. It is something that we need to do each day on an ongoing basis. It needs to become a part of who we are and how we value ourselves.

But it isn’t always easy. So many other tasks and obligations get in the way. Work, family, illness, others needs all seem to impose themselves on our time. However it’s a practice that we need to work at so that our own needs are met first. Easily said but not always easily done.

Winter is a time when self-care really needs to come to the fore. We tend to spend more time indoors, eat more ‘comforting’ foods and may do less exercise. It’s far too cold out there. Viruses are always around, but seem to be more prevalent at this time of year. It’s also easier to become ill in winter when we are often in warm, indoor environments with other people. Viruses tend to spread more quickly.

As nature tends to slow down in winter, perhaps we could follow her lead. Maybe we need to slow down a little too and give ourselves some more self-care. If we keep on working at the pace that we have always done and ignore the signs are bodies are giving us, it’s easy to fall ill. Winter is a perfect time to re-evaluate what is working for us and what isn’t.

Yes it’s cold outside but it’s easy to put on some extra layers and take a brisk walk in your neighbourhood. Include more warming foods in your diet such as soups, herbal teas and hearty casseroles with lots of green, leafy vegetables. Rest when you feel tired and if you start to develop a cold or sore throat, then rest some more. Supplements such as Vitamins C and D, Quercetin and Armaforce may also help. Diffusing essential oils such as lemon, peppermint, eucalyptus, thyme, tea tree, frankincense and lavender may also be beneficial.

Find ways to reduce stress by trying methods that work for you. Gentle exercise, yoga, meditation and regular reflexology all help to lower those stress levels that decrease your immunity. Be creative and do something you love. Painting, dancing, singing, photography, knitting or any other creative pursuit is an important part of self-care.

Don’t beat yourself up on the days when nothing seems to go right. We have them all. My son recently returned from overseas with Covid. Luckily he wasn’t very ill but I had to rearrange my whole week, isolate him and attend to his needs and reschedule client appointments. I started to feel a bit stressed.

I quickly realised that my needs still had to be met and I made sure that I had lots of rest time so that I would stay healthy and not become ill myself. It isn’t always an easy balance, but it’s so important to implement.

So how is your winter self-care going? Are you just ploughing through as normal, or are you giving yourself some extra nurturing? Self-care is a right, something that we all deserve and need to give ourselves. When we learn to true value ourselves we do not question its necessity.

Take some time to nourish yourself in all areas of your life. Food, exercise, self-love and self-care practices are all vital. If you do this, you will get through the remaining days of winter feeling replenished and excited, to welcome in the warmer days of Spring.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

PS. A facial chart to help boost your immune system. Click here

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

References: The Fragrant Pharmacy by Valerie Ann Worwood. The Encyclopedia of Essential Oils by Julia Lawless. Photo by David Lezanco on Unsplash. 

Your Body is Always giving you Signs. Do you Listen?

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Your body is always giving you signs. Do you listen? Our bodies are really amazing. They are always supporting us and letting us know if something needs attention or isn’t quite right. The problem is, we usually ignore the signs.

How many of us have a cold or sore throat and ignore the symptoms. ‘It’s just a sniffle’, we tell ourselves. ‘It will go away.’ We push through hoping for the best, until that cold or sore throat goes on to our chest and we start to cough and feel a lot worse. Now we have a more serious condition to deal with. If we had listened to our body and rested when we needed to, we would probably have avoided a longer lasting illness.

Most doctors compartmentalise our symptoms. We have a problem with our digestive system, or our lungs or maybe our heart. They rarely look at the body as a whole. Yet no single part of our body functions independently. Every single action within our body impacts on another part. Our body is giving us signs that usually indicate that there is something else going on. Maybe we just aren’t paying attention to them.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the physical is tied in with the emotional. Each meridian or energy pathway is connected to an emotion. In Facial Reflexology, I look at the meridian most out of balance in the body, for this is where the original disease process began, and then begin to explore the underlying emotions.

Our lungs are where we hold grief and indicate how easily we ‘breathe’ through life. With their partner meridian, the large intestine, they also represent control. Whether we feel we have to control everything in our life or feel we have no control, or are controlled by others. Are we always striving for perfectionism?

Our Stomach and Spleen meridians hold stress and our immune response. Medical research has shown that 80-90% of all illness and disease is related to stress. So if you are always getting colds and flus, perhaps you need to address the stress in your life. How is it impacting you? Our Kidneys and Bladder are said to hold fear. Are we always fearful of what may or may not happen? Can we let go of that fear? Why do we not feel safe?

The signs our bodies give us are not there to judge us or assign blame. We hold on to emotions and behaviours from our childhoods and life experiences. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s how we navigate life to get through and survive. However it’s important to remember that we do have choices and if a particular sign becomes more persistent, perhaps it’s time that we paid attention to it.

Your body is always giving you signs. Do you listen? Perhaps next time a health issue presents, do some journalling and explore what may lie behind it. Are you not giving yourself the time and space you need in your life? Is your life centred wholly around work? Are you including some fun and play? Are you trying to control the actions of your family members? You may not agree with their life choices but if they are adults, it’s really their own choice.

If you have a dispute with someone, instead of being confrontational, can you gently express how their actions make you feel? Bottling up our emotions only suppresses them for a period of time. They will eventually surface and very often they do, as a disease process.

So listen to the signs your body is giving you. It is always there to support you and show you that something may need attention. Discuss your fears and emotions and get help if you need to. There is no shame in it.

We are all amazing human beings with all our gifts, talents and imperfections. Our bodies are part of that amazingness and wonder and they have a unique way of showing us if they need just a little bit more loving. Don’t ignore their gentle hints.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

References: Facial Reflexology by Lone Sorensen.

https://nasdonline.org/1445/d001245/stress-management-for-the-health-of it.html#:~:text=You%20can%20become%20negatively%20influenced,and%20disease%20is%20stress%2Drelated.

Can You Find the Beauty within?

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Can you find the beauty within or do you need to look externally? Can you find beauty within yourself if you decided to have a look?

If we are asked to describe something beautiful, we may mention a sunset or the perfect rose, or a child’s laughter or a piece of art. We think of all the beautiful things that we have seen in our lives and describe those.

But have you ever stopped to think of the beauty that lies within yourself? I know myself, that this would not come to front of mind. But within all of us exists so much beauty and wonder that we ultimately take for granted. As human beings we are really quite incredible. We can think and make complex decisions. We can talk and form sentences. We can feel emotions, laugh and cry. And we can do a myriad of tasks, often at the same time.

We are really a thing of beauty yet we rarely acknowledge this. We tend to define beauty by what society says is beautiful. Every day social media promotes some beautiful person who we can aspire to be, if we buy a certain face cream, or lose weight, or dress as she/he does. Advertising thrives on this. We obviously are not enough as we are, so we need to buy a particular product or lifestyle to improve ourselves.

How wrong is this? We are already more than enough. We are unique and perfect, each in our own way. Yet we don’t really believe this. We think we need to do more or be more, to fit in and be accepted. If we study more, do more courses, act a certain way, we will be accepted. We doubt ourselves and our own gifts and talents. We compare ourselves to others and feel that we fall short.

Can you find the beauty within or do you always need external validation? I, too have often looked outside of myself. I grew up studying hard and aiming to always achieve better grades so that I would receive praise. The beauty that I saw within myself required validation from my parents. It took many years for me to realise that I was enough as I was. I could see my own beauty without the need for confirmation. I could see my inner and outer beauty through my own eyes.

How do you start to find this beauty? It begins by loving and accepting yourself. When you begin to see yourself as you are, with all your gifts, talents and flaws and learn to accept yourself without looking for perfectionism, you can start to see just how wondrous you really are. Be gentle with yourself and look at your self care practices. Eat well and get some regular exercise. Have a reflexology treatment or whatever helps you to balance and relax. Have some regular time out just for you.

Practice gratitude. It’s so easy to focus on what we don’t have, on all the things that are missing in our lives. But if we stopped to think, we actually have so much to be grateful for. We generally have a roof over our heads, food to eat, fresh water that comes out of a tap, heating or cooling. We also are able to use our limbs and our brains. We are capable of emotions and acts of kindness. Our bodies are truly incredible. Practising gratitude helps us to realise that we have so much beauty and wonder in our lives.

Can you find the beauty within. If not, next time you look in the mirror, look deep into your eyes and give yourself a huge smile. You are really amazing. No one else has that beautiful grin or those shining eyes or that glistening hair. Every single part of you is wonderful and it’s only when we stop and really see it that we can find the real beauty that lies within every one of us.

I hope that you can find this too.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

If you would like to learn more about loving and accepting yourself, my new book, “True Essence: Finding your authentic self without compromise,” explores these themes. You can find it here.

References: Photo by Sarah Wolfe on Unsplash.

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

To Everything There is a Season …..turn, turn, turn.

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“To Everything There is a Season …..turn, turn, turn,” are the words to a popular song in the 60’s. The words actually came from the Bible but it was made into a hit by The Byrds and written as a plea for world peace.

As the seasons change and we near the end of Autumn, it seems a pertinent time to reflect on what this time of year really means to us and what peace it brings into our lives. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, Autumn is represented by the Metal element which is indicative of a time of slowing down.

In the body, Metal means the minerals and trace elements that we need for our health. They originate from Mother Earth and are present in the soil. As trees lose their leaves, their nutrients are returned to the earth to nourish future growth. It is a time of quietening down. As trees drop their leaves, space is created and a quality of the Metal element is spaciousness and allowing ourselves to breathe.

As we leave Autumn behind and head into Winter, how can we create more space in our lives? How can we allow ourselves to breathe? Just as many animals hibernate in the colder months, maybe we can create space by slowing down. We lead such busy lives, with our careers, families, social media and ‘to do’ lists a mile long. Can we let go of something?

Perhaps we can allow time just to breathe. Time for mediation, time in nature, time doing ‘fun’ things rather than the never-ending things we feel we ‘should’ do. Maybe we can nurture ourselves more.

As the colder months arrive, let’s welcome in more nourishing foods, such as hot broths or soups and warming casseroles. Do more things to fuel your soul such as time with friends, creative pursuits and activities that bring you joy and peace.

Is it time for another Facial Reflexology session or a soothing massage? It’s a great time of year to boost your Immune System for the colder months ahead, so despite the cold, move your body more. If it’s too wet to go outside, dance around the house or do exercises to a YouTube video. Take time to relax and read a book (mine is available here) or rug up and watch a great movie.

To everything there is a season so learn to live by nature’s cycle. Just as the leaves of Autumn fall to the ground, what can we let go of as we head towards Winter? Can we let go of the need to be there for everyone by trying to please everyone around us, to the detriment of our own needs? Can we learn to say ‘No’ to people and activities that no longer bring us joy? Can we allow more quietness into our lives? Can we learn to accept the things we cannot change and let go of control?

Although many of us don’t particularly like the cold, myself included, the changing seasons are a part of Nature. They sustain us so that we don’t get burnt out, they allow for time to grow and time to heal. They allow for birth and a letting go of the old, that no longer serves us. They allow for us to be more active in the summer months and to slow down as winter approaches.

To everything there is a season so allow yourself to accept this. Put your own needs first, be more loving with yourself and give yourself the gift of peace and spaciousness that this season deserves.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

References: “Turn, Turn, Turn” by The Byrds. “The Way of the Five Seasons” by John Kirkwood. Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash.com

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

How can we be more Gentle with Ourselves?

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How can we be more gentle with ourselves and why is this even necessary? We all know what it means to be gentle. It means we show caring and compassion to another. We show tenderness and kindness. We do this without thinking to a baby or child, or to a beloved pet. We stroke them or pat them and speak in soft words.

But when it comes to ourselves, we are not always so forgiving or kind.

We look in the mirror each morning and criticise our appearance. “I’m looking tired. Oh no, I’ve put on more weight. Look at those bags. That dress looks awful on me.” We are so quick to judge ourselves. Then when it comes to our work or relationships, we are even harsher.

“I need to work harder. I just can’t attract the right guy. I will be judged if I speak out. I’m not good enough.” We then tell ourselves that we need to study more or be more outgoing or wittier or more attractive. We are rarely aware of how we are berating ourselves.

How can we be more gentle with ourselves? Awareness is the first step. Awareness of our thoughts and the frequent criticisms we often place on ourselves. Looking at ourselves with love and kindness instead of judgment. I still use Louise Hay’s mantra every morning. I do some stretches as I stand in front of my bathroom mirror and tell myself, ‘I love you and I accept you.’ A friend also said that she gently strokes her face and I have now added this to my morning routine.

Start praising your achievements no matter how small. Our accomplishments are meant to be celebrated. Don’t hold out for the big things, the new job, the pay rise, the new diploma or degree. Yes these are fantastic, but life is made up of so many smaller gains.

What if you wrote that first newsletter and pressed send, or walked twenty minutes further than you had ever done before? What if you were able to say ‘sorry’ first in an argument? What if you made a special meal for yourself, for no special reason? What if you bought yourself some flowers, just because you could? What if you just managed to get out of bed each day?

We are all human with different frailties. We all have different challenges in our lives. Yet each day we achieve something, no matter how small and when we do this, we should praise ourselves. Being gentle means to be tender and kind and this is something we can all do. We are so quick to look at the negative, especially when it concerns ourselves. But what if we looked at the positives instead? What if we said ‘no’ to our inner critic.

How can we be more gentle with ourselves? We can do this not just by our thoughts, but by our actions. We can learn to slow down and not try and do everything at once. We can say ‘no’ to perfectionism. It is after all, quite exhausting. We can learn to say ‘yes’ to the things we love in life, the people and activities that bring us joy. We can prioritise and choose the important things in our lives. We can stop feeling guilty about pleasing everyone.

Being gentle means to love and value yourself, in your actions and your words. It’s a necessary part of our lives because it means we care about ourselves and the choices we make. It means we are treating ourselves as a dear and loving friend. It means we are living a purposeful life where we matter. So take the time to look at how you are being gentle in your life, especially towards yourself.

Praise yourself and recognise just how fantastic you really are. Keep being kind to your beloved pets, but share some of that gentleness and kindness with yourself.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

My book , “True Essence: Finding your authentic self without compromise,” is now available here. It looks at the roles we take on in our lives due to our upbringing and society’s expectations of us and how we can learn to step out of these roles, if we want to find our true selves. This means being gentle and kind to yourself.

References: “You can Heal your Life” by Louise Hay. Photo by Reign Abarintos on Unsplash

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

Do you Stop to Celebrate the little things in life ….. or do you just move on?

/in , , , , /by

Do you stop to celebrate the little things in life or do you just move on? We all tend to celebrate the usual occasions. Birthdays, Anniversaries, Christmas, Easter and other major events are usually celebrated. We may throw a party or go out for a meal with friends or perhaps have a quiet, more intimate celebration.

But what of the smaller day to day achievements or the ones we accomplish just for ourselves. Do we stop to recognise and celebrate their importance?

I have accomplished many things such as careers in nursing and reflexology. I have celebrated these. But I have also accomplished smaller things that I rarely give much thought to. I have sold photos to gardening magazines and was happy at the time but didn’t really stop to recognise what I had done. I have travelled to places that have really challenged me, but I didn’t stop to think that I was doing something brave or extraordinary.

I have tried paragliding and riding on a moped and motorbike. I have gone sailing on a catamaran and camped in the bush where lions roamed. I have raised a son and run a household, volunteered for many mother’s committees and school outings, but rarely have I celebrated these as achievements. They were just things I did because it was part of the roles that I had taken on, or else I was young and fearless and knew no better.

Do you stop to celebrate the little things in life or do you just move on? Why is it that we celebrate only the major events in our life? Is it because we think all the day to day tasks are not important, so that we place less emphasis on them? Or is it because we fear the judgment or criticism of others? If we celebrate too often or too loudly we are considered ‘big headed’ or egotistic. If we always talk about our achievements, we may be considered too loud or ‘full of ourselves.’

Society doesn’t encourage us to be individuals. Society doesn’t encourage us to stand tall. The ‘tall poppy syndrome’ is still present and we fear being its victim. So we stay small, we downplay our successes and we don’t celebrate even the smallest wins.

Well isn’t it time we put a stop to that behaviour? Isn’t it time we stayed true to ourselves and recognised our own worth? We all have talents and gifts and it’s about time that we celebrated them.

I am just as guilty. I have accomplished things, then moved on to the next. But I suddenly realised that I wasn’t recognising all the work and effort that I had put in. So I finally stopped.

I have just published a book. Yes it’s exciting and yes I had a glass of champagne to celebrate. But then I was ready to move on to the next thing, the next book, the next photograph or the next painting I wanted to create. But I suddenly realised what I was doing. So I took some time out to recognise just what a huge achievement this book was. My husband and I are going out for a meal to celebrate and I am inviting family and friends around to do the same.

Celebrating is great for our mental health, but it also enhances our feelings of self worth and self esteem. It keeps us in the present, reduces stress and reminds us of our purpose in life. Celebrating reminds us of all the things in life that matter, the little things that make up our every day existence. They give us an appreciation of all that we have in our lives, the big and the small.

Do you stop to celebrate the little things in life or do you just move on? I hope you stop and recognise every achievement, for all the things we accomplish make us what we are. The big and small, both are equally important.

And isn’t that always worth celebrating!

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

Ps. My book, “True Essence: Finding your authentic self without compromise” is out now. You can buy it on my creative website here and purchase a signed copy, or on Amazon.

References: https://www.wellbeingpeople.com/2022/11/23/why-celebrating-is-good-for-you/ Photo by Guille Alvarez on Unsplash 

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.