What is your most important relationship?

What is your most important relationship? Is it the one you have with your partner or perhaps the relationship you have with your children or family?

I believe that the most important relationship we can have in our life, is the one we have with ourselves. Yes we may have an amazing marriage and the bond between a mother and child is very unique and precious, but the relationship we have with ourselves determines how we react to and treat all other relationships in our lives.

Many of us were brought up to be people pleasers. If we always said Yes to everyone, put everyone else’s needs before our own, we were given love and praise. It was considered selfish to put ourselves first. Taking on this role throughout our childhoods, meant we stayed happy and safe. So long as we kept up these roles, love and praise were guaranteed. We often grew up basing our self worth on our achievements and the consequent praise we received.

As an adult, it’s so easy to continue these patterns. We put our careers, our families and partners ahead of our own needs and usually only stop to re-evaluate this when we become ill or exhausted. Few of us stop to look at the relationship we have with ourselves.

So what do I mean by this? The relationship we have with ourselves is how we look at ourselves and how we treat ourselves. Can you honestly and openly say you love yourself? Do you really respect yourself and care for your own needs on a daily basis?

How do you then care for yourself? It’s the little things that add up to a great relationship with yourself, just as they do with the relationship you have with your partner and children. Do you respect yourself and how you speak to yourself? How do you allow others to speak to you? Are you always criticising yourself e.g. I’m too fat or too thin or I look tired or ugly etc? What foods are you putting into your body? Are you drinking enough water, exercising enough, having time out just for you?

These are all signs of self care and self respect. They are a vital part of establishing a healthy relationship with yourself. The more you care about yourself, the more you are able to be there to care for others. As you show respect for yourself and establish strong boundaries around how you want to be treated, the more others will do the same. Your children will learn what is acceptable behaviour and how they would like to be treated themselves. This also impacts your relationship with your partner and friends.

So have a look at your own life first. Tell yourself, ‘I love you’ on a regular basis. Treat your body with kindness in your thoughts and deeds. Take time out when you need it. Rest, drink lots of water, eat well and move your body. Have regular treatments such as Reflexology that nurture and heal your body.

Prioritise your own needs first!

Remember that when your cup is full, you are much better placed to be there for others. You only have one life. Live it to the fullest and be there for yourself.

After all, you deserve the very best.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

If you would like help in prioritising You and setting clear boundaries, you can book in here.


References:  Photo by Carol Oliver – Unsplash

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.