Are you always in Control …… and if so, why?

Many of us feel the need to always be in Control of everything in our lives. If our lives don’t run smoothly then something must be wrong. We set our alarms at the same time on most days, we stick to our morning routines and heaven help anyone who disrupts this, we go to work, come home and repeat the same the next day.

Have you ever asked yourself what would happen if things changed or you started to do things differently? Yes this might feel uncomfortable or even fearful but could it make things better? Just because something is different doesn’t mean it can’t be as good, or even better than what you had previously.

Letting go of controlling everything in your life may seem frightening, but in fact it can be incredibly liberating because it reduces stress and allows more freedom into your life.

Do you find that after a long day at work, you still have to do everything at home? Is this a choice? If so, ask yourself why? Is it about control? Do you feel that your partner would not do things as well as you e.g. cooking, cleaning or even stacking the dishwasher? (This was a big one for me). Then ask yourself, does it really matter?

I was a bit of a perfectionist and a control freak until I realised that I was stressing myself out about things that I didn’t really need to do. I ended up exhausted because I couldn’t meet the high expectations I placed on myself. I eventually discussed this with my husband and he agreed to share the cooking and chores around the house. I also learnt to ask for help.

This is something that you can do if you don’t have a choice about cooking, for example. Ask your partner or children to help prepare the meal, set the table and clean up afterwards. Yes it may not be done the way you would do it, yes it may not be perfect but why stress over the details. Does it really matter?

Can you ask the people you work with to help out? Can you delegate? Do you need to micromanage everyone and everything, or can you let go even just a little bit? You will be surprised how much better you feel when that burden of responsibility for simply everything, falls from your shoulders.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the Lungs and Colon are about Control. Our Lungs determine how easily we ‘breathe’ through life or whether we need to control every action and situation. Our Colon is also about control and whether we can easily let go or need to hold onto everything (and get constipated). Imbalances in both these areas of our body usually relate to some control issue and this can impact our health.

Control is also associated with Stress. If we need to control everything in our lives, we are never relaxing or letting go. What then happens when we can’t control everything? We end up irritable, angry, frustrated and stressed.

So have a look at your daily life and think about the areas where you have total control. Can you let go and give yourself some ‘breathing’ room? Can you ask for help? It can be hard and things may not be done the way you would do them, but you will get used to it and feel so much better. Your Lungs and Colon will thank you too.

Give it a try. I did and I’m so very grateful.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx