Do You Find it Difficult to Let Go?

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Do you find it difficult to let go? To let go of what no longer serves you? Letting go means to release something and it can come in many forms.

It may be releasing an object or personal item that we no longer need, or it may be an emotion that we have held on to for too long. It may also be releasing a person or the obligations that we have placed on them.

Letting go isn’t always easy. It’s rarely straightforward and can feel very painful. But sometimes letting go, is the only way we can move forward. It may be the only way that we can heal.

We may have someone hurt us in a relationship or friendship. We may feel anger and deep sorrow and find it hard to forgive. Letting go doesn’t mean that you forget what has happened to you, but rather that you recognise how you are feeling, give thanks for the joy that was once there and forgive so that you can move on. Forgiveness is not just accepting what has happened, but it means showing compassion towards yourself so that you can release any lingering anger or hurt.

We may find it hard to let go of behaviours that we know aren’t good for us, yet we persist in pursuing them. Are we the people pleaser, the one who is always there for everyone else and puts themselves last? Do we let others always take priority and say ‘Yes’ to everyone even though we are feeling tired or depleted? Establishing healthy boundaries isn’t always easy as we may fear the repercussions, but it’s the only way we can truly honour and love ourselves.

Do you find it difficult to let go or do you hold on for dear life? I know that I often do. My son may be moving overseas next year and I have found this very difficult to come to terms with. But I know that he has his own life to live and his own decisions to make. I may not agree with his choices but they are his choices, not mine, and I have to let go.

Letting go can bring up fear. If we let go, we may lose control. We open ourselves up to vulnerability and possibly criticism or judgement. Letting go opens us up to the unknown. But if we always hold on too tightly, we may never know what is possible. Maybe a new opportunity will come up or we release someone or something that needs to be released and needs to grow, without our involvement. Maybe we will allow ourselves to heal.

Ironically as I was writing this newsletter my website crashed. That’s why this newsletter is late. It was incredibly frustrating but I had to let go. I had to trust that the website host would sort it out for me. I had no control. Not a comfortable feeling, but one I am becoming more familiar with, and that’s okay.

When I see clients in my clinic for a Facial Reflexology treatment, I always look at the area of their body that is most out of balance. These areas also hold emotions and very often our emotions form the basis of a disease, condition or ailment. Holding on to anger, grief, fear or worry never benefits us in the long term.

There is no judgement here for we all hold emotions within ourselves for a variety of reason. Maybe we have been deeply hurt or we have suffered some trauma or grief. We bury that emotion deep within so that we feel safe and can carry on. But all emotions need to be dealt with, as over time they will arise again in some form or another. They may come up in an entirely different situation or illness, just to remind us that we still have issues to deal with. It’s okay to say that we aren’t coping or that we need help, and we should never be ashamed of asking for support.

Do you find it difficult to let go? I know that I certainly do. But as I lean in to the possibilities and the relief that letting go brings, I open myself up to growth and healing. Letting go allows all of us to do the same and empowers us to lead happier and healthier lives.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

References: Image by Darby Browning from Pixabay

How do you Step out of your Comfort Zone when it all feels too scary?

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How do you Step out of your Comfort Zone when it all feels too scary? When the very thought of change terrifies you and the unknown is too unpredictable? How do you make changes to your life when it all feels too hard?

We are mostly creatures of comfort and like our lives to feel safe and predictable. We like the ‘known’ and we like the certainty that it brings. Many of us stay in the same jobs, the same homes, the same locations and the same relationships, because it is all we know. We feel safe and we feel assured of what each day will bring. We tend to like more of the ‘same.’

But what if we start to feel that our lives are limited? What if we suddenly realised one day, that there was more to life? What if we decided that comfort isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, that adventure and possibility lie over the horizon? What do we do then?

We take steps to bring about change! Most of us have heard of a bucket list, of places that we want to visit during our lifetime. But what if we had a ‘dreams list’ as well? On this list you could write down all the things that you would like to do one day. Then start looking at what is possible and where you can start.

Maybe you want to learn to dance or begin a new language? There are many courses around. Community centres and the Council of Adult Education often have short courses so you can try them out, before committing to something more long term. Have you always wanted to write a book, but don’t know where to start? The Australian Writers’ Centre has courses to get your imagination flowing.

Whatever you choose to do, there are ways to achieve your dreams. Perhaps you could start planning for that solo trip that has always interested you or start increasing your fitness for that mountain trail you want to conquer. The possibilities are endless.

How do you step out of your Comfort Zone when it all feels too scary? Stop listening to that mindless chatter. Our minds are very good at convincing ourselves that our dreams are just that – dreams – and they will never achieve fruition. We convince ourselves that we are too old, or too unfit, or don’t have the experience or the knowledge to do something new. ‘It will never work out. It will be a waste of time and energy and I will fail. I should just be happy with what I have.’ The stories are endless.

But what if your new venture was a resounding success? What if you discovered a new soul mate or a new career or a new passion? Wouldn’t it have been worth it? I have mentioned before that I have written a book and it will be released in late March. I have loved the writing process, but have no idea how it will be received. Hopefully some people will love it and perhaps some will hate it, but that’s okay. I wrote it for myself because it was a passion of mine. I wrote it because it was one of my dreams.

Have I opened myself up to judgment and criticism? Yes possibly and that does scare me. But I want my life to be meaningful and that means taking risks. Staying safe and hidden means staying the same and depriving yourself of life and all its’ opportunities.

By taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zones, we learn to grow. I left nursing to study Reflexology. It was a huge gamble to leave a steady job and begin my own business, but I was unhappy and needed to find fulfilment somewhere else. I have travelled to a lot of different countries, never quite knowing what I would find, but it has always been worth the effort. I began garden photography to sell to magazines, which was at times a scary experience. Chatting to knowledgeable editors was definitely out of my comfort zone.

Not every task I have undertaken has been a resounding success but that doesn’t stop me from trying something new. Making mistakes means I learn and a part of me grows. How do you step out of your comfort zone when it all feels too scary? You start to plan and then start to take action. Believe in yourself for you are capable of amazing things. We just don’t credit ourselves enough for all our accomplishments.

Begin to live a life of your choosing, not someone else’s. So many of us are brought up to put everyone else first. We listen to their needs instead of our own and we put our own desires on hold. “Others need me now, others are more important, others need to take priority,” we tell ourselves.

Well guess what? We need to put ourselves at the top of our ‘to-do’ lists. It’s only when we feel happy, healthy and fulfilled, that we can give to others from a place of love and kindness, not obligation. So start listening to your heart’s desires. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable and expect some resistance from yourself and others. That’s okay. Your ego is protecting you from it’s own insecurities and your family and friends are just expressing their own fears and anxieties.

Take that risk, dream your dreams and take action on them. Then start living this one amazing, glorious life!

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

References: Photo by Nathan McBride on Unsplash

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

How do you deal with Tension? Do you Fight it or Flee?

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How do you deal with Tension? Do you fight it or flee and avoid it at all costs? Tension is a part of our lives. We can’t avoid it, no matter how much we might want to. Tension can occur between partners, work colleagues, friends and clients. You may disagree on a decision or an article in the news or on a financial matter. It may be a minor thing that can trigger us, or something more significant, but how we react makes all the difference.

Tension involves emotional or mental stress and can never be undermined. We all experience it in separate ways and we all react to it differently. I’m not talking about severe stress or tension from a life changing event or illness, for that is different. I certainly don’t want to trivialise that. I’m talking about the day-to-day tensions that we all experience.

Growing up, my Father was an organised, methodical man who loved a quiet, untroubled life but had a quick temper. In a household of women, life was far from being methodical and quiet and when he raised his voice, I tended to hide. I hated confrontation and grew up avoiding it when possible. I became quite adept at changing the subject or leaving the room!

However as I grew older and wiser, I realised that tension could be a good thing. I realised that I didn’t need to overreact every time there was a disagreement and that it wasn’t always “about me.” Something was triggering me and if I stepped back a little bit and looked at what it was, it became an opportunity for growth. Often it was about fears that the other person had raised or it was about feelings of self worth that I had taken personally.

Sometimes it was about genuine concerns such as financial worries, but I realised there was no point in being angry or laying blame on another person or situation. Looking calmly at these things meant that they could be discussed rationally and a solution found. Anger only led to accusations and being disempowered. Discussion led to finding answers with all parties feeling validated.

How do you deal with tension? We can all recognise it. That feeling of anxiety and uncertainty or of feeling the victim or the underdog. We may question our self worth, our own need to be recognised or feel that we don’t have any control. We try and protect ourselves and resort to anger. We try and justify our opinions and raise our voice so that we make sure that we are heard, or we change the subject and avoid the situation altogether. Our muscles tense up and we may start breathing more rapidly. We may feel a knot of tightness in our stomach and we start to feel stressed. Tension feels uncomfortable.

Tension is very strongly linked to our emotions. Memories from childhood may cause an overreaction as an adult. Certain behaviours from our parents can influence our reactions later in life. I know that my father’s temper, affected my own response to stress for many years. Tension leads to our ‘fight or flight’ response. We retaliate to protect ourselves or flee the situation. I realised that this was my response to any difficult situation. I would flee. It felt easier to avoid it than face it and possibly be hurt.

However once I realised what I was doing, whenever a tense situation arose, I sat back and examined my thoughts and feelings, without reacting first. I could see why I was being triggered and discuss this openly. It instantly diffused the situation and a more satisfactory outcome was achieved.

Often it’s our ego that doesn’t like being ‘attacked’. We may feel that we are personally being criticised when in fact, the advice given may actually be helpful. When we create something, be it a piece of art, photograph or even a special dinner, our ego resists judgment. If someone apparently criticises our writing or painting or some other creation, we take it personally. However if we actually sat with the advice given, our piece of art may become stronger.

We may feel anxiety when we come across something new or unfamiliar. We may hold ourselves back and avoid the situation because it requires change, or feels too scary or difficult. We may flee because it all feels too hard. If however we face our worries, sit with the stress and ask ourselves how we can move forwards, the tension will dissipate and we can grow.

How do you deal with tension? Do you see it as your enemy or can you make friends with it. We usually don’t welcome it into our lives but it’s something we can’t avoid if we want to have a meaningful existence. I now no longer change the subject or leave the room, or at least I recognise when I am tempted to. I look at what is triggering me. Is it a genuine fear or is it an affront to my ego? Knowing the difference means changing your response.

Tension is a part of our lives. It may bring up uncomfortable feelings or may just feel like a minor nuisance but it needs to be addressed and not avoided. We may feel tempted to run away, but even living on a deserted island, doesn’t stop you from encountering daily stressors. You still have to deal with the forces of nature and finding your food.

Recognise tension when it happens and make sure you support yourself. Feeling stressed all the time hinders your health so take measures to reduce that stress. If someone or something upsets you, take some time out. Give yourself time to breath and think. Go for a walk in nature, try some deep breathing or meditation, or end the conversation and say you will get back to the person. This gives you time to reflect on what has been said or on your own involvement in the conversation.

Try not to react straight away. Sit with your feelings. The more awareness you have around why you are feeling the way you do, will give you some guidance moving forwards.

How do you deal with Tension? Hopefully in a way that benefits your growth and releases any stress you may be feeling. I would love to know.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

References: Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash.

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

You can’t Stop the Rising Tide. What can you do instead?

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You can’t stop the rising tide. Every day the tide rises and falls according to the pull of the earth and the waxing and waning of the moon. We may try and put up sandbags or build barriers or walls, but the tide cannot be prevented from rising. It is a force of nature that cannot be stopped. What if we looked at life the same way? What if we ‘allowed’ more into our lives, instead of always fighting against what we cannot control?

Just as we may put up barriers to stop a rising sea to no avail, what walls are we putting up in our lives? I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have any control. Obviously we have some say in how we live our lives. We rise at a certain time, go to work, eat meals, socialise and form relationships and interact with others. We have control around what we want and don’t want in our lives. However what if we ‘allowed’ the things we can’t control, to just be and accept them.

I was doing my regular meditation the other day and my thoughts wondered as they often do. I started to think about a recent holiday in the sun and how glad I was that winter was over and it was now Spring. Then I suddenly stopped myself and realised that winter too has a purpose. It is a quieter time of year where much of nature hibernates. Animals gather food ahead of the colder months. Many plants lose their leaves and slow down their growth to protect them from the cold, but also to conserve energy. Then when the days become longer and warmer, they sprout forth their green mantles and shine in all their glory. Animals, too resurface and bring new life into the world.

What if I accepted winter as a part of life’s cycle, instead of fighting against it? What if I adjusted to the colder weather, wore more layers and warmer clothes and ate more nourishing foods? What if I allowed what I cannot change?

You can’t stop a rising tide and you can’t stop a new day dawning, but you can choose what you allow into your life? Can you allow more peace? Can you allow more space and time for you? Can you allow yourself to be prioritised? Can you allow more fun and joy into your life? Can you allow more self love? What would happen if we sat with our feelings and emotions and considered what we could let go of.

Could we let go of fear and anxiety and allow acceptance instead? Could we let go of anger and allow non judgment to take its’ place? What if we let go of criticism and allow an understanding of our differences to take precedence? Could we let go of controlling every aspect of our lives and allow the magic and surprise to enter instead? We cannot control how others behave or react with us, but we can manage how we respond to their words.

It’s very easy to try and control our lives. If we have control, we don’t need to fear. If we have control, we won’t be judged or criticised. If we have control, we won’t be disappointed. But life’s not like that. We can’t control everything and everyone around us. It stifles our progress and growth. It blocks our intuition and spontaneity.

You can’t control the rising tide. Life goes on no matter what we do. Allowing doesn’t mean giving in or giving up. It means we allow what we can’t control and accept the things we can. It also means we actively take part in our lives instead of being a passive spectator and allow in more of what we want to create, so that life remains mysterious, exciting and magical.

And isn’t that how you want to live your life. I know I do.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

Do you have an Impossible Dream? I hope so.

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Do you have an Impossible dream? I really hope you do. So many of our dreams start out as something that we wish would happen, but believe to be impossible. We may dream about changing careers or moving interstate or overseas. We may dream of living by the seaside or starring in a musical. We may dream of writing a best selling novel or painting a piece of art that hangs in a gallery. These dreams may feel exciting but at the same time, unachievable.

Why do I hope you have an impossible dream? Because I really believe that if a dream exists, in whatever form, you have birthed an idea to make a change somewhere in your life. It may appear far-fetched and perhaps unattainable at first, but dreams give us a gateway to the life we want to create. We all have ideas around how we want to live our life. We plan our jobs and careers, where we want to live, what things we do for pleasure. They don’t always turn out as we planned, but they give us anchors or starting points.

Unless you believe in reincarnation, we all have one life. Don’t you want to make this one life as meaningful and enjoyable as you can? Having dreams help you achieve this and although at first some dreams may appear just that, they can become reality if you take action. Dreams give you a direction in life. They empower you to find your purpose. They inspire you to challenge yourself and in doing so, they help to inspire others to do the same.

What has this do with Reflexology you may ask? Not a lot, except that becoming a Reflexologist was a dream of mine. I had been nursing for many years and needed a change. I had always been interested in complementary therapies, but changing careers after so many years in nursing, felt impossible. However once I decided I had to take some steps, the opportunities opened up for me. While living in the UK, a friend recommended reflexology for a health complaint. I tried it out many times, loved it and found it to be very beneficial. My dream of changing careers was taking shape. Once back in Australia, I contacted various reflexologists and followed their recommendations as to where I could study. I kept on nursing initially, but studied part time and my dream became reality.

What may seem impossible, very often isn’t. If you have the passion, interest and perseverance, so many things can be achieved. Have you always wanted to be a dancer but it seems impossible? Join a local group, start taking lessons and see where it will lead you. Have you always wanted to write a book? Enrol in a course if you so desire, or just start writing down your ideas. I always loved writing as a child but left it to follow other pursuits. During our long lockdowns in Melbourne, I began to write again. The ideas and words just flowed and I have just completed my first book. It has still to be edited and proofread and there’s still a long way to go, but my once impossible dream is taking shape and becoming a reality.

Do you have an impossible dream? I hope you do because it means you are planning how you want to live your life. You are taking back control and not just letting life happen to you. I know that I don’t want to have regrets or feel that I have missed out on things I really want to do. When my Mother was quite elderly, I bought her a beautiful red rose bush that she could see from her bedroom window. One day she wistfully said to me, “I wish I could paint that rose.” I gently said that I could bring her some paints and she could start but she never did. I know that this was just one small thing that she didn’t do, when in life she achieved so much, but so many things are possible if we put our minds and heart into it.

What if you want to paint that rose, or climb that mountain, or walk the Camino Way or cycle around France or even fly to the Moon? Your impossible dream can happen. Make enquiries, study if you need to, plan and then take action. I really hope you have an Impossible dream because if you do and you start to make that dream a reality, you are living your one glorious, amazing life. And isn’t that a life worth living!

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

Can you find Peace in a Crazy World?

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Can you find Peace in a crazy world when so much seems to be out of our control? How can you switch off from the constant stress that seems to surround us on an everyday basis?

It isn’t easy, but it is possible and there are things you can do today to remove you from that ‘fight or flight’ response.

Firstly, acknowledge when you are feeling stressed or impatient or anxious. If we stop and recognise our feelings, we can do something to address them.

There is no shame here. The last few years have brought up so many anxieties and fears that we never knew we were capable of feeling. Current world events only add to this stress. It’s okay to be angry or feel scared. We are in unfamiliar territory and that’s uncomfortable and often frightening.

So we react in different ways, depending on our past experiences, beliefs and values. We may lash out at others in anger or impatience, we may retreat from the world in fear or we may experience physical symptoms that affect our health.

Acknowledge that this is okay. Don’t criticise or condemn yourself. It may not feel pleasant, but we are just reacting to our circumstances and so many of these circumstances are out of our control. Try and give yourself space in your day. Space where you are not always meeting the needs of others. Space where you can just be and sit or have a nap if you need to. Nurturing ourselves is so important.

Try some meditation. It has huge proven benefits to still the mind. This doesn’t mean that you have to sit still and chant. It can be as simple as sitting outside with the sun on your face, while you tune in to the sounds around you. Being present in the moment is deeply healing.

Go for a walk or dance around the house. Move your body. This encourages those ‘feel good’ hormones to flood your system and leaves you feeling more relaxed and energised. Scream out loud if you need to or sing at the top of your voice. You may feel more comfortable doing this at home, but do it whenever you can, as it helps to release pent up emotions.

Spend time with those who make you laugh. Laughter also releases those ‘feel good’ hormones, such as Dopamine and Serotonin. If you need time alone, then do that. Sit in stillness at home, binge on Netflix or read a book. We all need some down time. Don’t feel guilty!

Definitely, don’t watch the news. It’s meant to be dramatic and alarming, to catch our attention. Your nervous system doesn’t need that. By all means stay informed, but a quick look on the internet will fill you in on all you need to know.

Eat healthily. This may sound strange, but junk food has a negative effect on our brain and hence, affects our mood. It is highly addictive, so the more you eat, the more you want. It gives us temporary pleasure so our brain encourages us to repeat that ‘fix’. It is also inflammatory and can damage our neurones or nerve cells.

Engage in supportive treatments such as Reflexology. It addresses any underlying emotion or trauma and is deeply healing and powerfully relaxing. Try yoga or tai chi. Both are very grounding and stress-reducing practices.

Can you find peace in this crazy world? I really believe you can, but it does take some effort. You need to be willing to change and be accepting of how you are feeling, without judgement. I try and do this on a regular occurrence. I don’t always get it right but I know I have the tools to become more grounded when I need to.

Try and give it a go. Recognise your emotions and don’t judge yourself. Accept that life is weird and uncomfortable now. Then sit in stillness, laugh out loud, dance and sing as if no one is watching and find peace in your life and hopefully, peace in your Heart.

With warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

This facial reflexology chart may be helpful to reduce fear and anxiety. You can download it here. https://solevitality.com.au/fear-and-anxiety/

References: https://www.rmit.edu.au/news/all-news/2016/sep/five-ways-junk-food-changes-your-brain, Photo by Javardh on Unsplash 

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

Do You find it easy to Declutter your Life?

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Do you find it easy to Declutter your life? Do you find it easy to let go of things that no longer serve you or do you hold on for dear life?

Many years ago, a Japanese lady called Marie Condo wrote a book called, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.” In it she recommended only keeping the things in your life that ‘spark joy.’ While her book was based on physical items, I believe it’s a great practice to apply in all areas of your life.

How many of us hold onto behaviours or beliefs that no longer serve us? We’re scared of change or letting go of what is comfortable, even if it’s not healthy for us. It’s too hard, we will be judged, what will our friends or family say, others may not approve. So we stay the same. Change is difficult. What if we fail? What if it’s a disaster? We tell ourselves so many stories that we convince ourselves that our current lives aren’t too bad. We may not be happy, but we are comfortable!

But what if we challenged this status quo? What if we began to look at our lives in a new way, letting go of the old and allowing some new energy to come in instead. This may involve physical or emotional things, but the result is the same. Each time you let go, even a little, you allow space for the ‘new’ to come in.

What if you let go of control, of needing to manage the people and events in your life? What if you created better boundaries around your time and availability and let go of the need to be the people pleaser? What if you decluttered jobs, friends, relationships that only bring you grief and anxiety? What if you asked for help instead of trying to do it all yourself? What if you said “No” to the things that don’t bring you happiness and ask instead, what ‘sparks joy’ in my life?

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the Lungs and Large Intestine represent control and letting go. The lungs hold onto grief and how easily we ‘breathe’ through life. Whether we are holding on to someone or something or are unable to move on. The Large Bowel also represents letting go, not just of waste products but of ideas, thoughts and emotions that are toxic or hold us back. In Reflexology I always give extra attention to these areas for we all hold tension to some degree in the lungs and bowels.

The Lungs and Large Intestine are part of the Metal element in TCM and Autumn is the season of the Metal element. As we near the season of Autumn, it’s the perfect time to look at what we can let go of or declutter in our life.

Do you find it easy to Declutter? If not, look at what you are holding onto and the reasons why. Is it fear? So many of us hold onto life because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of upsetting someone, fear of being judged or criticised.

But what if you began small? Just started with one thing. Perhaps saying ‘No’ to extra work or that job you have always said ‘yes’ to but resented. Perhaps declining an invitation because you needed some time to yourself. Perhaps asking for help around the house instead of feeling you need to do everything. Perhaps letting go of perfectionism. Perhaps eating more vegetables or removing one unhealthy food from your diet.

When you let go of the old, you allow more space and energy to come in to your life. You allow more joy and more of the things that light you up to enter in. You begin to live a more authentic life, on your terms.

Do you find it easy to Declutter? If so, that’s great. Keep it up. If not, take one step at a time. As you start to make change, you will find it becomes easier, and more sustainable change follows. You will also start to notice more joy and abundance creeping into your life.

As we move away from summer, think of the trees. They begin to shed their beautiful autumnal leaves without resistance, letting go of the old decaying remnants that no longer serve them. They know that more beauty and growth lie ahead in the months to come.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

References: “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, www.acupuncturepathways.com/news/2017 Photo by Our Bahcivancilar on Unsplash

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

Wishing you a truly Happy New Year.

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Wishing you a truly Happy New Year.

These words may sound a bit trite as the new year dawns and we repetitively greet those we meet in a similar way. But my wish for you all is to have a truly happy New Year ahead.

The past two years have been really difficult and have brought up huge fears and much uncertainty. We have had to reassess the way we live and adjust to unfamiliarity and constant stress. Even though life remains unclear, it is important to give closure to the year that has passed and start the new year afresh.

One way of doing this is to acknowledge what has been and then give thanks for all the positive things that have happened over the past twelve months. Even though there have been difficult times for me, with closing the clinic, loss of income, cancelling holidays and coping with the everyday stress of lockdown, I too, found lots to be grateful for.

At first glance, I decided it was a pretty horrible year, but when I looked back at my photos and memories of what had been, I found so many occasions to celebrate and give thanks for. You can do the same. It could be birthdays, chats with friends – even over Zoom, walks in nature or time with family. Giving thanks for the good times helps to bring closure for the year and provides an opportunity to enter the new year with hope and optimism.

A New Year brings with it new dreams and plans for the months ahead. It gives us an opportunity to reassess what we want to bring into our lives and what we want to leave behind. It also brings us hope. Hope for an end to the pandemic, hope for great health, hope for holidays that actually take place and hope for the things we want to create in our lives.

What do you no longer want to do this year? Do you want to leave a job you no longer love? Do you want to end a relationship or friendship that brings you distress and unhappiness? Do you want to let go of playing small, being perfect, trying to please everyone? The New Year is a perfect time.

What do you want to bring in to your life this year? Do you want to spend more time in nature and do more walking? Do you want to learn a language or start a new craft? Do you want to commence a new career or finally do something that you have always wanted to do? Do you want to have stronger boundaries around your time and availability? Do you want to have a healthier lifestyle? A New Year is the perfect opportunity.

Many people do vision boards, pasting pictures or photos on a board, of what they want to do over the next twelve months. I have done this myself, on many occasions and it has always been rewarding. I put together a collage of images from the internet, of holidays, food, experiences that I want to bring into my life, and then print it off. I stick it on some cardboard and put it up on my fridge, where I can see it everyday.

This works to remind me of my dreams and plans and if I get sidetracked as I inevitably do, this grounds me and brings me back into creativity. I also choose a word to embody what I would like to do or be in the new year. This year I have found it hard to do and have felt conflicted. How can I choose a word when so much is uncertain? I decided that as my mind is always wandering into the future and what might happen, I need to focus on the present instead and on what I can do and achieve now. So my word is to be Present.

You might like to try it too. You may have other ways of planning for the coming months or you may prefer not to plan and just wing it. Neither way is right or wrong, so long as you continue to have dreams and act on them. Having dreams is the first step but unless you take action, they remain dreams only.

Book dates in your diary to start the ball rolling. Book in that reflexology treatment you have been promising yourself. Sign up for that art or language course. Buy yourself some paints and pencils and start drawing and creating. The world awaits you and your unique gifts and talents. A New Year is your time to shine!

When so much is out of our control, focus not on what you can’t do but on how you react to change. As the quote says, “Sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true direction.”

Wishing you a truly happy New Year. May it be a really magical one for you.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

References: Photo by on  Ester Marie Doysabas on Unsplash. Quote – author unknown.

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained.

Did you know you had a ‘Calming’ nerve?

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Did you know you had a ‘Calming’ nerve and you can use it to benefit your health? Let me tell you about it.

As you know, our nervous system is a very complex system, made up of the brain, spinal cord and nerves. It is our body’s communication system and controls a lot of the body’s functions.

An important part of our nervous system is the network of cranial nerves that connect the brain to our head, neck and body. They are either sensory or motor. Think of our sense of smell, taste and touch and movement of muscles. These are just some of the functions of the cranial nerves.

Parts of our nervous system operate automatically eg breathing, digestion, heart rate. Our sympathetic nerves are involved in our ‘fight or flight’ response, physical activity, heart rate and innervation of many body processes.

Parasympathetic nerves on the other hand, are our ‘rest and digest’ nerves. They regulate the function of organs during rest and have a slowing down or dampening effect.

This is where the ‘Calming’ nerve comes in. It is called the Vagus nerve and is the tenth cranial nerve. It’s also one of the most important parasympathetic nerves and one of the longest in the body. It originates in the Brain stem and travels right through the neck, chest, abdomen and the digestive system to the middle of the large intestine. Its’ name comes from ‘vagabond’ and it’s known as the wandering nerve.

The Vagus nerve is truly a calming nerve because it slows down breathing and heart rate so aids in relaxation. It communicates between the gut and the brain and decreases stress, anxiety and fear. It controls our digestion and slows down heart rate. It is also involved in the immune system and decreases inflammation.

Did you know you had a ‘calming’ nerve? We all do and can use it to benefit our health? We are living in an unprecedented time, when so much is out of our control. The news is full of drama and alarm and our stress response has never been so activated. It’s very easy to get caught up in that ‘fight or flight’ mode and never truly relax.

This is where the Vagus nerve comes in. You can work the nerve point for it on your face whenever you are feeling stressed. Do it on a daily basis and you will start to see its’ benefits. You can find the chart here.

You can also take measures to decrease your reaction to stress by avoiding the news, spending time in nature, exercising, eating healthily (most of the time), doing meditation, laughing, being creative and putting some more fun back into your day.

When so much is out of our control, it’s so important to remember what remains in our control. Working the Vagus nerve, our ‘calming’ nerve is something every one of us can do. After all, reducing our stress and staying relaxed is one of the best ways to stay healthy.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

References: Multireflexology Dien Chan by Patrick Aguilar Cassara & Anna Roca, https://www.healthline.com/health/12-cranial-nerves, https://courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-ap/chapter/functions-of-the-autonomic-nervous-system/, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/318128#What-is-the-vagus-nerve, Touchpoint Denmark – Webinar on Digestion by Dorthe Krogsgaard and Peter Lund,

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.

Is your need to Control everything affecting your Health?

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Is your need to control everything affecting your health and if so, what can you do about it?

It’s understandable to feel that nothing is within our control at the moment. Our current circumstances are creating such uncertainty, that we may feel that we have no control over our lives. As a consequence we may overreact and try and control the things that we can.

Control is a normal response. If our happiness is affected or our safety is threatened, we automatically try and control the situation. If danger is involved, we go into our ‘fight or flight’ mode. Even if it’s not a life or death situation, stress levels can be activated. Our current situation since the pandemic began, is a huge example of this.

When we activate our stress response, for whatever reason, our levels of cortisone and adrenaline rise. Our body prepares to flee the situation. This is a primal survival response that has served us well. However when this stress response remains elevated, we stay in this high alert state and that’s when health issues may result.

Chronic stress can lead to illnesses such as Hypertension, Heart Disease, Stroke, Digestive problems, Diabetes, Asthma, High Cholesterol, Lowered Immune Function and Chronic Fatigue.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the Lung and Colon meridians are related to control. The Lungs relate to how easily we ‘Breathe’ through life, whether we need to control everything or whether we feel we have no control. The lungs also hold grief and how we control our emotions and whether or not we have processed or dealt with grief in our life. In many lung conditions, we actually have difficulty controlling our breathing.

The Colon or Large Bowel is also about control. If we are always in control or tightly controlling of ourselves and others, this may result in constipation. If on the other hand, we feel we have no control or allow others to control us, diarrhoea may ensue. Just think of a situation where you are extremely nervous because you have little or no control, such as a job interview or before an exam. You have no control over the questions that may be asked. Very often you have to make a few trips to the toilet and your bowels may be upset.

Our fears around control may stem from childhood or our experiences throughout our lives. We may have had controlling parents who never gave us freedom or perhaps life’s circumstances threatened our safety, so we learnt to control everything that we could. Our reactions are never wrong. We always do what we can to survive and make the best of whatever life presents. Panic buying is just one example of us trying to control our lives. If we are restricted, at least we can control what food etc we have at home. Panic buying helps us to feel safe. It gives us some control over our situation.

What do we do about our need to control everything? And what if control is beyond our reach? What if always being in control no longer serves us?

What I have realised myself, is that I need to let go. I need to ask for help and I need to allow myself to receive. I have had to admit to myself that I cannot control everything, no matter how much I may want to. I allow myself to feel all the emotions, such as anger, frustration, sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, fear and whatever else may arise. Having no control brings up many emotions such as fear and it’s important to recognise this. Look at your fears and decide if they are rational and if your life is in danger. If not, try and let the fear go.

Accept all the emotions that you are feeling. It’s okay not to be happy about your situation. The circumstances may not be what you want, but acceptance reduces the stress. If you can change your outlook and your actions by choosing a different way of doing or looking at things, they may not seem so insurmountable. Perhaps you can’t do things the way you normally do. Does that really matter? Maybe there is another way. Maybe new opportunities will present.

We all have choice and we can all choose how we cope under current circumstances. Ask for help if you need to and recognise if things are beyond your control. Allow others around you to make their own choices. We can’t control their decisions and we shouldn’t try to or judge them for their opinions. We all cope in different ways.

If we try and always stay in control, or fear that we have no control over our lives, we will always stay in a stress response. If on the other hand, we try and accept the things that we cannot change and alter our outlook, we may find that we are a lot calmer, happier and healthier and better able to cope with whatever life presents.

I know which one I would prefer.

Warmest wishes,

Judy xxx

If you are feeling fear or anxiety, these facial nerve points may help. https://solevitality.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Fear-and-Anxiety-Wellness-Package.pdf

References: Photo by Patrick Mallert on Unsplash 

Disclaimer: Please note that all information in this article is the opinion of the author and obtained through her research and knowledge and the above references. It is not meant to replace medical advice and a medical opinion should always be obtained for any health condition.